It’s times like these
When I realize you are not all I need anymore.
You were once overpowering
Until you began to come into your own
You still lie beside me every single night
Breath on my cheek
Three, fully conversant
And sometimes the things you
Say in your sleep
Alarm me
My god, you feel fear,
And negativity,
When it seems that a child of three
Should dream of fast-motion
Blooming flowers
And the flower of life.
No, you are not all I need
Tho you are still all-consuming
My wonder is centered on you
And it’s not that I’m frigid
Just frozen
I need someone to melt the ice
And then boil me into thin air
I need my raindrops to fall down
On someone who luxuriates in the feel of me
On their bare skin.
No it’s not that I’m frigid,
Just frozen.
I need to co-manufacture some oxytocin
I need to feel all of me again,
The me that I felt when I opened the door
That sweet afternoon in wild New Mexico –
The day I ushered your spirit into my womb.
Open. Wide open.
Some day, my sweet daughter,
You will be a woman.
You will know what I mean.